Seeking an "Unsullied Republican"

...that's what they're looking for, to eventually replace Senator Larry "Happy Feet" Craig, under tremendous pressure from his Republican colleagues to retire quickly and quietly, so that "an unsullied Republican" can run for his seat in Idaho next year.

(Senator Craig, still in denial, & still guilty)

Craig first said he'd resign at the end of September, which came and went without his leaving, so he amended his plans with the promise to resign if he couldn't get the guilty plea withdrawn.

But Senator "I'm Not Gay" Craig is showing increasing reluctance to move on, regardless of the fact that today the judge in Hennepin County District Court denied his petition to withdraw his guilty plea, saying that the plea was made "unambiguously and without coercion."

Judge Charles A. Porter, Jr. went on to point out that “the defendant, a career politician with a college education, is of, at least, above-average intelligence,” and ruled that “he knew what he was saying, reading, and signing.”

(A gay man sin los huevos.)

Until his arrest and plea were made public, Mr. Craig, 62 and, again, not gay, was almost assured of re-election to a 4th term in 2008. Idaho, a solidly Republican state, handed the non-gay senator a 3rd term with a comfortable 65% of the popular vote.

Stubbornly clinging to the podium with tooth and nail, the solid heterosexual now says he plans to finish out his present term after all, he just won't run for re-election in '08. Talk about deep in denial...and the way this loser keeps changing his mind, I'll bet he's still planning a way to stay.

You know, it's been said that when the ethically-challenged, disgraced VP Spiro Agnew wanted to stay in office regardless of his crimes, Al Haig as much as told him that if he didn't resign and do so immediately, they'd literally put out a hit on him! (Like on "24".)

So he resigned, and do you remember how obviously pissed he was? Agnew never admitted any guilt (which was how we all learned what pleading "nolo contendere" meant); come to think of it, Agnew would fit in the Bush White House perfectly, if he wasn't so , you know, dead.

Anyway, if they can ever get Craig to actually resign, Gov. C. L. Otter, another Idaho Republican, would name the replacement.

So good luck on that search for "an unsullied Republican", Guv...