Wednesday, September 05, 2007

From the "It Takes One to Know One" Dept. - Another "Bad, Naughty, Nasty Boy" gets caught with his pants down


Uh, speaking of Senator Craig (sorry) and that controversial, seated, improvisational tap-dance he did that (allegedly) disturbed the peace in the men's room of the Minneapolis airport ......first of all, doesn't it seem that before we get done with one overblown, tabloid-type scandal (mostly "bimbo explosions", but other BS too) that pre-empts real news for weeks, another piece of crap plops down, even more unsettling than the last?....like when the Scooter Libby obstruction of justice trial was going on (and I was dying for information), all anybody would talk about on the news was the Perils of Anna Nicole! Then it was Paris, Britney, Lindsay, Nicole, and on and on and on...aarrrghh! Is American culture stuck in the shallow end forever?

Anyway, wading right into the disturbingly yellow waters of the shallow end of the pool, I see this ridiculous closeted politician standing there exposed, flatly refusing to tell or even face the truth, period. Pa-thetic. His own party (with a couple of exceptions) wants him gone and gone ASAP (due to massive homophobia?), and I think most of the rest of us are disgusted as much at his blatant hypocrisy as by his pitiful, potentially dangerous sex life.

This staunch opponent of gay rights insists he "didn't do anything wrong", but he fails to mention that his now-famous total lack of success hooking up in the men's room this time around was entirely due to the fact that the Senator solicited the wrong person!

That desperate "picking up a piece of paper off the floor" excuse for his classic "show me yours" hand signal was thinner than 1-ply store-brand.
But standing with his upper lip submerged in a famous Egyptian River, soon-to-be-ex-Senator Craig now hopes to take it all back, to "un-ring the bell"... (I guess next he'll be trumpeting "Larry's Law", newly designed to prevent the tragedy that ensues when undercover police officers patrol bathrooms to catch offenders and discourage lewd behavior. Again, good luck with that, Senator...).... as his dwindling handful of defenders are either truly clueless about the body language of the men's room hook-up* or are pretending to be. *(At the end of this article I'll provide a link to a helpful site providing (totally non-pornographic) information regarding under-the-partition cruising signals used in public restrooms by the deeply-closeted. Swallow hard and read it and you'll agree...the Senator wasn't tap dancing in there; he was specifically asking for a sex act.)

The record also shows that he'd... (how to put this delicately?) ... made no legitimate use of the toilet during his extended stay there. That is to say, after hanging around the bathroom for several minutes, "playing with his fingers and repeatedly peering looking into the stall that the undercover officer was in", the Senator finally went into the adjacent stall as soon as it was free, and there he sat for quite awhile, waiting, according to him, with his pants down. But the thing is, the record shows that he didn't flush. Not that he forgot, he just never had any need to flush; no "#1", no "#2", nothing to flush, no legitimate use of the fixture evidenced whatsoever.

So... what was he doing in there? Just a little innocent seated tap-dancing while simultaneously tidying the floor? As the officer said, weary of Craig's pitiful lies, "No wonder why we're going down the tubes.."

Nonetheless, another Genius Republican, Arlen Specter, now says that the evidence is too flimsy and he feels sorry for the guy, thinks Craig really was entrapped, and plans to try to help him out. Again, whatever. Maybe if Craig had just passed a NOTE saying, "I-WANT-TO-HAVE-SEX-WITH-YOU,-RIGHT-HERE,-RIGHT-NOW!", in plain English, notarized, that might have been clear enough for Specter to see the truth.
As for entrapment, no way. It was a sting, but that's meant to stop criminal activity that the public has been complaining about. And in my opinion the Minneapolis police were doing their job, and doing it very well; I thought the officer used remarkable fairness and restraint, considering all the insultingly stupid lies the Senator tried to sell.

If Craig hadn't voted against gay rights at every possible opportunity, he'd get a little sympathy from me and a lot of other people, but this guy's just a hypocritical phoney-baloney liar, and a desperate, clumsy liar at that.

Craig, c.t.d.* (*circling the drain.)

*Resource: for the handful of individuals who still accept Craig's excuses and don't think he did anything illegal, do yourself a favor and click on this link http://www.slate.com/id/2173033/ so you'll quit making such a fool of yourself. It's "Bathroom Sex FAQs - Cruising Signals, Legal Issues, and Larry Craig's "Wide Stance," by Christopher Beam, posted Wednesday, Aug. 29, 2007, at 6:22 PM ET "

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